About Dr. Mezmer

 

 Dr. Mezmer is presently Dean of the School of Bad Psychology at the Academy of Lagado; Laputa, Kansas.

 

I received my undergraduate degree USC (1), and my Ph.D. in psychology at MIT (2).

(1) University of Southern Caledonia

(2) Massachusetts Institute of Taxidermy (proves that I know my stuffing)

 

Race: Half Elf

 

Career: Psychologist, Cleric

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Constitution 9

Dexterity 7

Intelligence 17

Wisdom 18

Strength: 7

Horniness: 19

 

Magic Spells:

Detect Bullshit—can detect really stupid journal articles upon reading just their titles.

Create Flame mail-- will singe the egos of bad psychologists within six squares.

 

      

 

My vitae, or in other words, stuff I got published.

 

Books

The Ten Habits of Irritating People, 1995, Scurrilous Press

 

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: The Extraterrestrial Origin of the Sexes, 1992, Faux Pas Press

 

Articles

Since these articles are in a list of vague journals you won’t find anywhere except in the seventh floor stacks of the University of Manitoba, I am confident that you the reader will not travel to Canada to confirm their high fraudulent content.

 

Mezmer, A. Where’s the God darn bus?: an analysis of disjunctive nose scratching, fidgeting, and foot stomping behaviors while under fixed interval bus schedules. Journal of the Experimental Analysis of Chuck, book 1, page 2, paragraph 3, 3rd sentence.

 

Mezmer, A. and M.S. Landers, Being the Beav: The influence of 3rd grade teachers as a stimulant to auto-erogenous impulses in pre-adolescent males, Beaver Studies, Episode 59, 1959, CBS

                                                                        Mezmer, A. Are little white pills more effective on aches and pains? A comparative analysis of deviance of the healing powers of little white, little blue, and little red stripy pills on the imagined aches of fat, stupid housewives. Annals of Hypochondriacal Medicine, 201 Main. St., 4th floor, 5th on left, middle book on the top shelf, p. 234-245

                                                      

Mezmer, A. Finding Homunculus: an insecure inner self or just a confident little guy? Journal of Applied Humanistic Physiological Psychology, Vol.1, verse 10, ch. 9

 

Mezmer, A. Motivation: intrinsic, extrinsic, or why I still don’t want to mow the lawn.  Journal of Sociable Psychology, Stardate 112.6, Gamma Epsilon Quadrant.

                                                                        

Mezmer, A. and Oop, Ally The Nose on My Face: why is it that plain? (20,000 B.C.) Journal of Paleolithic Psychology, Lascaux Cave, Side Cavern, Upper Ceiling, Third etching.                                                                                                                   

Mezmer,A. Where are all the cotton pickin’ jobs? Immigrant outsourcing of labor in the 1850’s American south.  Antebellum Studies, vol 23, pp. 1860-1865

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